Peace

Romans 12:18
"If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all."

I am a middle child.
The Psychologist inside of me begins spitting out facts about what character traits that ensues...

Most of you are thinking if I'm the middle child I must be the black sheep.
 Well, I did get my nose pierced. So watch out. :)

The reality is middle children are the most unpredictable, and vary the greatest within the category of birth order,  but they do hold some similar qualities.
Two that fit me like a glove include that middle children gravitate more toward friends outside of the home (likely due to feeling like they were left out within the home), and they tend to be peacemakers by nature.

I bring this up because even though my nature as a middle child is to be a peacemaker (and it is... just ask those close to me) I still find this verse (Romans 12:18) to be incredibly difficult to live out with those in closest proximity to me... cough, cough (my family). 

Maybe it's again that natural tendency to run towards those outside of it... who knows.
Regardless, the gospel is pretty clear- live peaceably with ALL (including my family).

My mom and I, undoubtedly, had the biggest issues in this category growing up.
And no, I don't believe the Electra complex was the cause... sorry Freud.

But, we did. I was prideful, stubborn, hateful, rude.
I reacted in anger, and while sometimes my anger was well deserved... most the time it was not.
And even more of the time, my action from my deserved anger was undeserved.

We all get to choose.
In that moment, before the words come off our lips... we get to choose.

Living at home, I have lived out Romans 12:18 many days.
Buuttt.... I have failed to live it out many days as well.
I have fallen back into old patterns, old ways of thinking, and justifications for my actions- though there is no righteous justification for it.
I have forgotten the truth that I will be held accountable for my reaction, not their action.

I love my family, and I am blessed to have them in my life.
But relationships are tricky, and all real relationships require work and humility.

Please pray with me as I seek to reconcile and rely on the Lord so that I am able to put Romans 12:18 into practice.

"Be faithful in small things, because in them is where your strength lies." -Mother Teresa